A repetitive life
Or rather the end of one by starting a social media fast (+ an exciting update!)
Skip to the exciting update by scrolling to the very bottom! (Hint: watercolor portraits)
Every morning I have to go the bathroom not too long after we wake up. (I am 5 months pregnant right now after all.) Every morning my daughter also cries and protests when I start heading to the bathroom. Every morning.
J, Umma1 has to pee pee. I go to the bathroom every morning! I find myself reminding her time and time again. She must know by now—but there is no change.
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It amazes me how much of life repeats itself, especially due to my unreached desires and questions.
What do I want to do in life? What will life look like in the next few years?2 are good recurrent questions, and so is the frequent self-reproach, I can’t believe I wasted that much time on online content I wasn’t even looking for.
Why am I so shocked that I have not spent the time with God that I know I am hungry for? Why am I so shocked that I regret opening Facebook or Instagram when I finally had a sliver of precious, uninterrupted time?
There are simple solutions that I already know. I should spend time with God and ask Him about His will for my future. I should show some self-restraint with my social media accounts if I find them harmful or even deactivate them if I can’t find self-control.
I know what I want, I know what I ought to do, and I should know what’s coming if I don’t do what I ought to—and yet it’s a repetitive life.3
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Allowing myself to be in the world’s flow means getting an influx of unwanted material that is not from God. It means spending time in ways that I will (again) regret. I’ve always been taught how important God’s Word is in the life of a Christian, but it has really been on my mind the past year or two. Maybe late-twenties is when it really hits. I am tired of the worldly content that I am consuming and really want more of what God is saying in my life.
Now, I’ve been feeling this already for months now and taking a few baby steps forward and a few steps back. But to try to solidify and declare my resolve, I commit to this (with some exceptions):
For the rest of 2023, I will be off of Facebook and Instagram to instead put myself in the current of God’s word.
My first fear is that I would miss out on hearing news from people I want to celebrate or mourn with but that I do not see on a regular basis. But I think I’ve thought over this dilemma long enough to decide to just give it a try. I know what I want, I know what I ought to do, and I know what’s coming if I don’t do what I ought to do. No more of this repetitive life.
I’ve done media fasts in the past and logged in just to share my own art or news. I may consider short, intentional expeditions into the social media space like this as an exception. After all, I do have something big coming up this year (like a second childbirth!) But then again, maybe I don’t have to share on it online at all. Maybe this is the year that I can become free from social media.
Or maybe since I’m a creative person who likes telling stories with others, I can share at least on here. I actually still think back quite fondly on the high school tumblr and blogging days when I would creep on what other people were writing about. I miss those days. I had a few specific blogs I would check regularly and if there was no new post, I could refresh to my heart’s content—but that was the end of that. No life-interrupting notifications or relentless feeds, just a simple answer (“There is no more new content from this person at this time! Go do something else!”) to directly answer my curiosity.
If you’re wondering how I’m doing, feel free to check here for updates. And please, if you have art or news to share, I would love to hear through phone or email!
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Watercolor Portraits
Lastly… I am offering digital watercolor portraits again to support my family and bless you! Illustrated portraits are great ways to capture your favorite memories—even the special ones you just weren’t able to get a “perfect photo” of. They also make great gifts for your loved ones. You can see examples and find out more at jinheeart.wordpress.com. I am also trying out offering a few other services (like photo, video, and editing) for anyone interested.
Here’s a gift I drew this week for a new mom! Their family is going through a trial in life, so I was thinking of them and wanted to encourage them. After starting the illustration, I found out it was mom’s birthday—what perfect timing. I combined separate photos of mom and dad from pre-baby times with the little one. I’m very happy she likes it, and she even said she plans to hang a print in the nursery!
Is there anyone in your life you’d like to encourage with an illustrated portrait? Or is there a memory you’d like to savor with an illustrated portrait? Please check out my website and share with anyone who might be interested. Thank you!
Mom in Korean
As in, how I can support my family best financially if I become a stay-at-home mom next year or in a few years? Is that even God’s will for me?
Romans 7 anyone? “For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.”