I cannot believe it’s already November. It’s about to be Sofi Toki’s second Christmas.
It’s been three months since I officially became a working mom, and I feel like life has been so busy. Every night I think I will get some quality time with my husband after putting Sofi to bed, but every night I always wake up in our dark bedroom to find I’ve fallen asleep. Being a parent means there’s always so much to do and moments to myself or with my spouse are rare. Social outings or special plans can’t be had even with all the planning in the world if your child is sick, and Sofi has been sick more often than not for the past two months.
Sofi Toki started daycare for the first time two months ago, and the viruses and ear infections have not left her alone since the start. She’s had many “sick visits” to the pediatrician and many more nights of fevers. She’s already had four rounds of antibiotics, and we’ve fed her countless syringes full of fever reducers and antibiotics.
The other day she made us laugh though as she held the syringe in the perfect posture as if she was going to give someone a shot. It’s time for a taste of your own medicine, she seemed to be saying. As much as she makes us feel all the other emotions, she also surprises us and makes us laugh all the time.
I’ve always been drawn to being a stay-at-home-mom, but seeing her sick so often has only solidified those desires in me. I feel sorry and at the same time I am thankful that she didn’t have to start daycare even earlier.
I can’t wait for the season when I will be able to be at home with her more, but for now what more can I do than to keep turning myself and our family towards God? He is the one who gave us the gift of our family, and I trust that He will provide what is good for our family.
The other day for the first time I asked my husband, “Do you wish that we had waited longer before having her?” He used a short, “Mmm,” to think out loud before stating that both options are good. Becoming parents at age 25 and 26 means we’ve missed out on some things, but we’ve also gained so much. We both agreed that we chose a good path. We would not trade being Sofi Toki’s parents for anything.
Her little hands give me delicate pats on my chest as her beautiful eyes stare up at me. We talk with our eyes. We share this moment.
We hug. Her little head lays on my shoulder and her body melts into the shape of mine. It used to be that I held her, but now she holds me back. I feel her shallow breaths and tiny fingers pitter-patter on my back like raindrops on the window.
My little girl reaches up to give me a few gentle pats on my face.
Little. I want to savor how little she is because I know she is growing up so fast. There are so many little moments that I want to record before I forget them. So for today I think to myself,
How joy-giving and life-giving are her little magician hands?
Today she was snuggling her head into the neck of her rabbit doll and swaying her hips side to side. It was the splitting image of how I imagine her Appa and I hug her.
Being Bunny’s mom is a joy and a privilege. May I love her and care for her well since she is God’s precious gift to us.
P.S. Welcome to Bunny’s Mom, illustrated musings and memories from mom of Sofi Toki!
What a lovely mom and daughter!
beautiful <3